hi mom, i go to film school

um, yes please?

http://www.wired.com/underwire/2009/06/first-look-tim-burton-takes-alice-to-weird-wild-wonderland/

101.4

is it weird that i hope i have swine flu?

According to the CDC, like seasonal flu, symptoms of swine flu infections can include:

• fever, which is usually high, but unlike seasonal flu, is sometimes absent
• cough
• runny nose or stuffy nose
• sore throat
• body aches
• headache
• chills
• fatigue or tiredness, which can be extreme
• diarrhea and vomiting, sometimes, but more commonly seen than with seasonal flu

brownishred means i have that symptom-- i loooove being sick.

oh by the way

he broke up with me because i was overweight. haha.

wanted: mildly attractive boy easy on the eyes who is not bothered by the fact i can't rock a bikini. must enjoy silly text messages, not giving a fuck about where we'll be tomorrow, and has to take life one day at a time. also needs to not take life so goddamn seriously. no intelligence necessary-- i did well enough the last time without it.

optional brownie points:
- hates physics
- has accomplished more than being in a clique one time in high school
- enjoys pokemon
- likes long walks on the beach (or through downtown rochester)

summer simmer

summer can henceforth only be known as bad news bears.

the only things i've managed to do are sleep, eat, work, and think and as everyone knows, thinking is bad. a lot of things have gone in and out of my head over the past two weeks (wow, it's only been two weeks? goddamn) and it's had a lot of emotional baggage to go with it. it's weird for me if only because i may be passionate, but i'm not really emotional when it comes to things, but since i've been simmering here on this hole-riddled couch in my sweltering living room, there's been a lot on my mind. i hate that feeling, but it's impossible to get rid of it.

while talking to lily about people's relationships lately, we've determined 'types' in accordance to break ups. our friend invests way too much of herself into relationships and therefor has a huge breakdown when it's over-- the over-emotional investor. lily is a passive emotional person when it comes to break ups; she's sad and misses a lot that comes with it, but knows how to get over it and not let it affect her life too much. as for me? i'm the delayed-reaction breakup type.

when i first broke up with my boyfriend, i was okay with it. i was the one who brought it into the light and though i showed a little hesitation for it (i still liked him so i tried one more time; who wouldn't?) i was okay with it. i was fine and happy and never felt better the day after. i thought we would both be happier with that decision. however, two (almost three) weeks later, i'm starting to hate this feeling of being alone. i miss him, and a lot reminds me of him. it's not crippling and i'm not to the state of going OMG I MISS U TAKE ME BACK PLZ I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU, but i feel substantially upset. i don't know if it's the concept of not having a boyfriend for support, but i don't think so, because i'm seeing him in other people, not picturing myself with somebody else. i've been trying to think of other guys as a joke to get myself back into the single girl swing of things ('he's hot!' or 'man, look at that guy. augh, he's cute') but, it's not working. haha. we didn't have that tight of a relationship, but i miss it, i miss him, and it stinks. i'm not sure what to do about it; i'm comfortable with the decision and don't regret it, but i wish i had something to get my mind off of it. we're still friends (he's at least spoken with me this summer, it made me happy) so that's a great thing, and i don't want to ruin that.

bah. i hate the summer; i'd much rather not think about it.

yesterday

yesterday was a very strange day. i held lengthy conversations with people i didn't expect to.

then again, i learned about the fact that i don't need one of them as much as i thought i did, and it re-instilled my faith in the other one.

things get so complicated when you get bored.

(and by yesterday i pretty much mean two days ago if you want to get technical. the 26th. this whole staying up past midnight thing's got my clock in a perpetual loop. eek.)

the dangers of mallard ducks

So tonight I walked into the bushes and got scared shitless by a duck. Yes, a duck. At 12 am... in the bushes... chillin' out. A duck. I screamed "Ahhh, it's a duck!". At 12am. In the quad of my college. A female mallard duck just hanging out in the dark. Did I mention it was at 12am in the middle of a quad at my college about a tenth of a mile from any body of water? In the bushes... just hanging out at 12 am. Did I mention I got scared and yelled? and then it flew away?

Everyone laughed.

woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture

It's kind of eerie how weird our floor feels when people leave and there's no more paint on the doors. You see stuff in the hallways and wonder why it's there until it clicks and you realize people are going home. I've never been so sad about leaving a place before... I mean, it's not like we aren't coming back. Everyone that matters will still be here in three months. But... I don't know. It's going to be weird eating by myself, sleeping in a room by myself, not getting woken up by yelling at obscure hours, not being able to yell down the hall if I need something, and being ten minutes away from friends. It's depressing. It's so hard to understand though because I was fine without all of this stuff a year ago, but it's so weird to imagine not having it now.

Same goes with being single. I mean, I'm okay with it, but I really do miss having a boyfriend already. I did okay without having a boyfriend for 18 years of my lonesome little life, but now that I've experienced it and devoted a lot of my time to him, it's weird to imagine what I have to do without it. No hard feelings of course, but I miss being important to someone and I miss devoting my time to them. I have my friends and I'll be doing things for them all summer, but it's still so strange to imagine it. Things will come along and maybe I'll find someone else when I come back in the fall, but for now, it's gonna be kinda lonely, weird and sad. Oh well-- I'm determined to make the best of it.

It's great how passionate everyone is as of late. Every waking minute of my life this week has been spent with a group of other people, and we're doing things as if every second counted. Today we hung out in Jeremy's room all day, trekked to screenings, sat around in the grass outside of Building 76, watched some films, walked to dinner, came back, sat around, went outside and claimed our hill and just laid on each other. I guess to anyone else it would seem so peculiar how close we are and the things we're comfortable doing with each other. I love it though. It made this week so precious to me and it finally feels like I've made friends who are friends with me because they like me and care about me, unlike so many of the friends I've had in high school. There are a couple friends waiting for me at home who still care, and I appreciate them, but college has helped me discover who I am and what I want from life.

I've changed as a person and I'm in the greatest place I could be and I'm determined to make the most of it.

thank you

I just wanted to thank him for being a strong person and for giving me something to live for over the past three months. We're done now, but I know I learned a lot and I owe him very much.

I'm glad there are beautiful people out there and I hope you can all find one.

now with more win!

I have to say that the best thing we do is live life up when we realize that we only have a week left. I woke up at 9 today to go finish our mural we're painting for community service and crammed 7 people into a car that normally fits 5 (that included Maggie and Ashley in the 'trunk' which was probably about a foot and a half of space). Bryan drove, Jeremy got the front and I crammed into the back seat with Robyn and Jesse. We finished the mural with time to goof off and we took plenty of wonderful pictures. After drowning in a ball pit, trying to hula hoop and successfully getting paint everywhere, we stumbled back into the car. We pit stopped at Friendly's, drew on our placemats, had the best food we've had in a really long time, then wandered out into the parking lot in the rain. On the way back, we pulled into Show World (an adult video store) and were ready to corrupt a few individuals until we were asked for our IDs. Of course very few of us remembered them and even though we were old enough, we had to leave. We made sure to laugh at an elderly couple coming out and then piled back into the car.

I kind of love living life to its fullest, even if it involves pretending to be walruses, painting sea horses, and yelling like angry Irishmen into the rainy afternoon.

(:

morose and melancholy

So today was eventful. At around 10 pm we decided to walk the entire length around our campus (which is pretty big, mind you) and so we did. I received a buttercup flower, kicked dandelions around, and yelled things at passing cars. We gave two people directions, got an engine revved at us, and spied on a house. On the way back, we passed the track and decided to lay on the bleachers and look at the stars. I walked down and ran a successful lap on the track, took a breath then ran again, collapsing into the grass soon after. We stared up for a while and just laid there, enjoying the night.

A couple hours later, I sat outside with a boy and spoke softly about our lives, laughed about a movie, then hugged awkwardly at the bus stop.

I don't think I've ever been so sad about leaving a place before.

dial 981 for justine on your keypad now

Hobbies include: Going on Facebook during morning lectures, eating watermelon out of coffee cups, and long walks on the beach.

harbinger of chocolate

I think it's kind of peculiar because I find chocolate - chocolate chip muffins the sign of a bad morning. I've never really been a fan of chocolate, but the only muffin I managed to get out of a machine packed with cinnamon apple, banana nut... was double chocolate. That's gotta be pointing to something bad, right?

I'm actually just banking on going home and going to bed after this 4 hour lecture. It sounds incredibly appealing, to be quite honest.

summertime blues

It's weird how a lot of people view summer as the harbinger of happiness-- it's the beacon of hope for every school kid no matter how you put it. In elementary school, it means more fun to run around and build tree forts. In middle school, no more annoying homework to deal with. In high school, an excuse to go out and have fun with friends and make some cash. In college, a break from the finals and harrowing responsibility. A lot of people look forward to just doing the opposite of college work and just appreciating the summer a little bit-- it's better than homework and responsibility, that's for sure.

But... I'm actually a little scared of summer. I'm going to miss my friends. "How am I supposed to eat alone?! I never eat alone!" "What am I supposed to do without Art House?" "I don't want to work-- I want to goof off at college and be ridiculous!" It's so unfortunate. But maybe it's not that that I'm scared of. They'll still be here when we get back next year, so I don't think I'll have the potential to miss them terribly. I think the thing I'm scared the most of is my relationship.

It's my first one, and we've been dating for about... three months now. But then, I guess it scares me because in two weeks, we won't see each other for another three months... I'm not worried about me so much as I'm worried about him. I have all the faith in the world in him despite the way he thinks of things and how he views relationships and how he holds on to his traditions. He's hesitant to try anything new and values the things he's always done and sticks to them. It's very opposite of me because I always try to do new things and make things up as I go-- I love him for the challenge. He's so different from me and I appreciate it. But part of me wonders if he appreciates me too? I do a lot for him and he says he likes it, but I'm paranoid. I like him a lot and want it to work but part of me wonders if he could care less or not.

Summer.

It worries me but not as much as it could. I can say something to him or not say something to him and be fine either way. I'm confident even when I shouldn't be. I'm happy even when I shouldn't be. I'm excited even when I shouldn't be. I know I want to stay with him and I will work with him over summer break and talk to him like I always do. But I hope he tries to do the same-- it's the only thing I trust in right now. I have faith in him and that's all I can do, right?

(:

<3

freckles

She drew a hand across her cheek, wiping freckles from her face like beads of sweat strung as a pearl necklace. The sun strained through the clouds and filtered around her face, bringing the red out in strands she'd rather any other color. She envied the melanin, the way it could pack its suitcase and leave. The only thing standing between her and Panama was a boy who didn't know if she was right for him, but she saw something there that seemed brigther than the bands of light along ripples in the canal. Sometimes she felt she was the only one who could.

this is AWESOME

http://www.polaroid.com/pogo/us/howzc.html

Everyone was pretty much crying the day they heard Polaroid was halting the production of their instant film forever. However, they're doing some awesome shit over there, and that camera is proof. I'm a little hesitant to believe in the ZINK technology, but it sounds stuffed up enough with technical bits. The camera itself is 5MP quality... still skeptical about the quality.

Oh well. That's badass regardless.

dude

have you ever seen a zebra finch? those things are BEAST. I mean, in a design sense they don't really make much-- bright orange cheeks, brown wings, white and black throat, tan and mahogany spots... at least, the males stick out as color coordination gone horribly, horribly wrong, but dude. They are pretty sweet. Man, I want one now. In twenty years when I'm out of debt, I'm making a zoo in my house.

10 reasons to date chubby girls

As a chubby girl I have compiled this list as to why it's pretty legit to date one of us. Sure, I'll have whoever's friends with me on this blog thing going 'ur not chubby!!1' and it'll probably be pretty derogatory, but I think it's pretty hilarious. So, here's a list as to why a man would be lucky with a pudgy girl. (: <3>

--

1) loyalty!
Most chubby girls are confident but not extremely, so you can be guaranteed they won't cheat on you. They're usually grateful for whoever they're with and any affection they get, so you can rest assured that they won't go tramping around.

2) adorableness!
Almost all chubby girls are adorable, caring, and sweet, and will try everything to make you happy. Once again, they're delighted with anyone who stops and gives them a smile from time to time. They will bend over backwards to give you everything you could ever want.

3) darwin's best friends!
Though unable to run long distances, they will be able to feed off their own bodies longer in survival situations and can use their fat reserves when you're dying of starvation. (And in cannibalistic environments, they taste better, though aren't very nutritious. Use with caution.)

4.) cuddlers!
Chubby girls are the best cuddlers. They giggle a lot and are perfect to snuggle up against when you're cuddling. Which leads to...

5) a great source of warmth!
Many chubby girls are their own heaters and can pass this heat onto you when you're cold. They're often so warm that when sleeping next to them, you don't even need a blanket. They're just pure happiness and warmth in one body.

6) strong!
You don't have to worry about taking them out on dangerous adventures. If they fall on their butts, they won't break anything. (True story: A guy told me after I fell on my bum on black ice, 'good thing you're not as small as me or you'd break a bone!' Asshole. But true.)

7) entertaining!
Chubby girls have to get by on more than looks, so you can guarantee her personality is a winner if you're dating her. They're generally charming, friendly, charismatic and pretty damn funny when it comes down to it.

8.) great friend protection!
Chances are your friends aren't going to be into your girl if she's not super hot and a skank, so you can be confident that you can have her all to yourself. Good!

9.) big breasts!
... sorry, just had to say it. <3>

10.) grateful!
You can always be sure the girl will be happy with whatever happens, simply because she's come to appreciate that things aren't always constant or all puppies n' kittens. As sad as it is, some people will treat her differently because she doesn't fit into the societal bracket of attractive and hot women. This doesn't mean she hates her life, but rather, she's come to appreciate everything else unlike some people who are concerned with life only skin deep.

Tips:
- Chubby girls still have high standards! They aren't easy to catch or sway, but once you do, you'll be glad.
- They're all ticklish. Every single one of them. Some might enjoy the attention, but some might cry before you even touch them. Consider carefully your options.
- You don't need to lavish them in compliments to try and move their confidence levels, but a little one now and again won't hurt.

analysis of cricketry

crickets as a good luck charm? It has to be a little weird considering most girls (and some guys) squeal the first time they see one. I actually find it pretty comforting that there are crickets in the studio... well, except for the fact I might step on one, but I'm pretty sure there are worse things to step on (like rusty nails, or slugs, as Sean so aptly mentioned). It's kind of like an I Spy thing, too, because sometimes those little bastards are clever. I saw one scuttle under a drafting table and when we went to go find that little bugger, we actually found a different one dead. It's a bit awkward, to tell you the truth, but I kind of want one to start chirping. I'm picturing it as a marco polo game-- nevermind the fact that these crickets were originally meant to feed contraband lizards some girl on floor has and that a friend of mine is currently babysitting over break. Actually, I don't even think I'd mind if I found them in other places either. My bed's raised so I'll be damned if they can jump that high, so my sheets are safe-- bring on the search! The ambiance might prove useful trying to fall asleep, and at least they escape being aten by two hungry lizards. You can't help but sympathize. They're trapped here over break, just like me. No Florida or home cooked meals for them either.

Let's put it this way-- at least they aren't cockroaches. Cockroaches aren't near as cute as crickets (though they are pretty charming bugs, too).

Sincerely,
the only girl who likes bugs.

pandabears and macintosh

so i drew a picture for him of two panda bears on a camping trip and one was eating an apple and it was cute.

he hung it on his fridge.

i like this boyfriend thing. :)

dear gingerclaus,

boy (11:10:33 PM): haha maybe ill scan it all in when im done so you can goggle at it

me (11:14:15 PM): hahaha you're so weird

boy (11:14:29 PM): whyyy?!

me (11:14:36 PM): LET ME SCAN MY MATH HOMEWORK

me (11:14:41 PM): hahaha (:

boy (11:16:52 PM): just to show you :)

he offered to scan his math homework just so i could see it.
how fucking adorable.


love,
g.f.

silly goose

maybe i found what i was looking for?

inspiration

I do not care what car you drive where live. if you know some one who knows someone who knows something. if your clothes are this years cutting edge. if your trust fund is unlimited. if you are A-list B-list or never heard of you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind.
andre jordan

just so you know, i'm over the last two posts-- yes, already. i made up with a good friend of mine who, when i decided to forget about him, i found i never really could. he teaches me french and has conversations with me no one else could even replicate, or even fathom. i miss him, and sometimes i realize that even though friends come and go, you're always happy when one comes back.

official friendzone counter

4 and counting.

Last known occurrence of "i see you more as a lifelong friend..." known to the statistics: 1/18/09
First known occurrence of said bestfriendzone known to the statistics: 2004

Next predicted occurrence of theme:
every new crush ever.

wow, it kinda sucks when you build yourself up for something and it doesn't turn out in your favor. i was so convinced that i'd actually succeed with something special to me, and it gets snatched up by the one to my left- so close.

maybe i'll recover, or maybe nothing will happen, and i'll be just as stagnant as i was five years ago.

i try so hard, you know?
when's it going to be my turn?

some haikus

moving back in is
a painful, tedious job
after a big flood

(especially when
your roommate doesn't like to
clean up her side- ugh.)

oftentimes haikus
have this place inside my heart
and make me happy

i want to build a
pillow fort inside some house
-- sucks, i'm in a dorm

who wants to build a
tree house with me sometime soon?
i could go for one

or perhaps a snow
fort- or even a snowman
life is too hard pressed.

let us make pancakes
or go dancing in the rain
i miss things like that.

nrh 6

day 5
12:23pm

we were rumored to have been free to move back to the island, but lack of competence has prevented us from returning to our homeland. the strange hallows of our present isle have seemed barren and abandoned, and survival is difficult as our morale lowers. my partner jesse has received a gift of food in the form of a package from her original lands, but it seems water has plagued us once again. the burden of water is a horrible ghost, haunting us even as we keep ourselves to safer lands.

we can only hope to return drier than we left.

farewell my colby

day one
12:47am

after news of the horrific flood, we were dismissed from colby so that the sun gods may dry out the walls and air out our floors- 22 refugees fled from dampened, flood ravaged halls in search of drier lands and more hospitable conditions on minor outlaying islands. myself and my companion jesse chose a cave in the island of Nathaniel Rochester Isle, among other seemingly friendly tribesmen of a local tribal clan-- positioned on the sixth cliff face of the coast. we heard wind of our own group of survivors inhabiting the island further down the coast more towards shore, and they luckily discovered a large cave for four. they paid us a visit and offered us good bidding, and we all are wishing for these days to pass by so that we may reunite with those we left on the mainland.

later on, i will be leaving the sanctity of our cave and exploring the nearby waterfall.

i need a shower.

mold spores and refugees

a flood has just ripped through half of Art House in one of the greatest feats of unpredictable plumbing the Rochester Institute of Technology has ever seen. a hot water pipe burst in the handicrapper of the floor as a result of a faulty window, RIT's inability to fix problems in a timely manner, and lack of heat over the winter break. this bathroom math just so happened to explode the hot water pipe conveniently placed across the hall from room 2028, the residence of justine raymond, ending in utter catastrophe! crap fills in the hallway from the bathrooms to the stairwell, lined up like hurricane katrina just ripped the hall a new one. half of the tenants escaped the horrible mess, and for once are grateful to live in bumfuck art house, in the hallway no one cares about.

the water raised as high as five inches in room 2028, and damaged things from clothes to film, from rugs to electrical outlets, and destroyed all of justine's artwork she collected from high school. "i lost pretty much four years of my life," she explained, filing through her water-warped pieces of art. "i guess it was all shitty, but it still kind of sucks. 'happy new year, your shit's fucked'." the tennants of nearby rooms also lament about all their lost items, ranging from the very basic (wet clothes) to the more exotic (amazing artwork, a printer, a pot stash), and many are proud (and pissed) to say,

"i survived the great art house flood of 09!"
now lets hope those motherfuckers give us some pain and suffering.

dearest justine,

happy new year!
a hot water pipe broke on your floor in your hall in your dorm at college! all of the artwork you've ever done could be in potential danger because you didn't have enough room in your portfolio to leave it in there and thought, 'where better to keep it than in the back of your closet where no one would touch it?' perfect thinking! and, just to be vague and worry you, we're not going to elaborate in the e-mail you received beyond 'oh crap a pipe broke we're going to blow-dry the carpets and some people may or may not have gone into your room to lift stuff up off the floor which may or may not be too late to matter'. the amount of water could have been a trickle, or three feet, but we're playing charades! we really do love you, and appreciate you paying college loans and leaving all of your artwork on the floor.

we hope to screw up your future sometime in the following 2009, whether it be by another snow day on a crucial period in your animation studio time, by growing mold colonies in your dorm room and on your roommate's dirty laundry she leaves on the floor, or perhaps more dicks in the laundry room taking your clothes out of the dryer.

may happiness find you in your new year!

love,
rit & the shitty piping
xoxo